Aries is the first-born, purpose-is-progress sign of the zodiac, and early man's first bread likely looked like blistered, pillowy, hummus-begging pita bread.
Taurus is the zodiac's potato—versatile, reliable, thick, and long-lasting. We're lazy because we're always seeking for the easy way to pleasure.
Gemini scientist, designed Pringles. He patented a saddle form and cylindrical container to minimize breaking. Hero. Pringles went from potato chips to potato crisps and added varieties
Funyuns' formula hasn't altered in over 50 years, like cancer. Cancer food technologist George Wade Bigner created Shutterstrock Funyuns. Cancers are reluctant to change and sentimental
Leos govern summer's intense heat. SunChips taste like farmyard farts. Leos are kind but unreliable, and SunChips strove hard to be "green" but has subsequently retracted its biodegradable bag program.
This chip tastes like dip and chemical gold dust, like Virgos. Arch West, a Virgo, developed Doritos. West was buried with corn chip triangles of victory. Flour rest.
Libra is polished and seeks to preserve the peace to avoid upsetting or losing appetite. The original Lays potato chip suits most people's demands.